Hello dears! As you all know I have been super busy for the last couple of weeks moving and putting a new routine into place. All the while constantly thinking about my blog and how I feel like I've lost the ability to make time for a post or two. I've contemplated how open I should be with my followers regarding my personal life and it all comes back to the reason why I started this blog in the first place. I wanted my website to be an outlet for people like myself who love fashion, design, and beauty; but I also wanted it to inspire individuals to dig deep down within themselves and learn who they are and where they see themselves going.
So if I'm expecting you to relate to me, I feel like opening up to you all will only make that so much easier. We are all human, we all go through ups and downs and experience life lessons in different ways. I know it's cliche but everything we go through in life truly molds the person who we become. Furthermore, the person who we "become" is never finalized until we take our last breaths. With that being said I want you to know that I believe strength comes from weakness, that we gain knowledge from situations that are unforeseen and that we always have the ability to learn more even when we think we know it all. I share my beliefs with you so that you may find comfort in your own obstacles and also relate to where I am in the present.
As you know I am in my young twenties and have shared with you the general overview of my "world". Well, this "world" of mine abruptly changed one afternoon after a serious discussion with the person I fell in love with. It was time for reality, it was time for truths. In the discussion it was mentioned that we were on different paths, which at the time struck me through the heart. I think mainly because our society is shown the traditional path as: school, date, settle down, get married, have children, raise those children, grow old and then life takes it natural end that I didn't realize that there were different paths. Ever since I was a young child I could not wait to get married and have children. I'm not sure why I saw the role of "mother" as such a critical point to reach in such a small amount of time, but I did. I say "did" in the past tense because the discussion we had changed my view on the path I had chosen to take. Thus far into my life, I have gravitated towards focusing on the people I date, pleasing them and wanting to make their lives the best they could be. Did you hear anything wrong with my last statement? If you say to yourself: no; its okay, I was there too. Thinking in that manner isn't wrong, its selfless. Who wouldn't want someone to put them before anyone or anything else? How satisfying would it feel to know that someone loves and cares for you that much? I think that having that mind set is okay- but not now. Stay with me, I'm going to make sense shortly! Promise! So here I am. This young woman who is focused on this young man and how I can make him happy, how I can be the best thing for him so that he would never want to go. But where am I in this whole equation? Who is keeping me happy? Who is pleasing me? See, thats the lesson and that is why I say the mindset I had isn't necessarily wrong or bad; it's just not useful at this time. My focus should be on myself; on being happy and figuring out what it is that makes me happy. Being a mother will happen in one way or another at some point in my life. Whether it is giving advice to a helpless youth, adopting or even being blessed to birth my own child; my opportunity to share my knowledge will be available and I want it to be valuable and full of experience.
Understanding and accepting the drastic change in my "world" is a sign of growth and maturity. While I may have my days where I get upset at how things between Dave and I ended, I take a breath and realize the endless possibilities that lie ahead of me. I think of where I've been and who I am becoming and slowly but surely grow this amazing love for myself. It's the craziest feeling! I am finally giving myself the spotlight and acknowledging that I am becoming so strong, stronger than I had been giving myself credit for. I never knew how important this feeling was until now and I hope that each and every one of you is able to experience this. I hope you are able to say " I love who I am. Today, and everyday." I know that so many of us lack the confidence to love ourselves and I want you to understand how much more positive your day would be if you put the obstacle weighing you down in the trash and left it there! Take the precious moments needed throughout your day to make yourself feel good. Whether its wearing your favorite lipstick, indulging in your favorite snack, taking that shameless selfie :) or changing up your style (like i did! hairstyle that is!), just do it! You're worth it! We all are! Life will continue, regardless if you choose to pick up the pieces and readjust or dwell in the broken glass around you. We all need a good spring cleaning every now and again!
I hope you all connect to this post and hear where my words are coming from. It is scary sharing my personal life with you all but sometimes the best thing you can do is step outside of your comfort zone...and I'm so there! Join me!
Until next time loves! {and I promise promise promise it will be soon}
Miss Michelle Eva
XOXO
